I feel better.
One day I'm a fantastic English teacher, the next I'm wondering how its possible that I could call myself an English teacher.
I go to Seoul, you go to La Bonita to get a burrito. One could say one is more exotic and "cooler" than the other. But is it? I'm in the position to argue that point untill the cows come home. I'll wait till the last one stops mooing too. You better be ready, especially after a few more months pass.
Last week I sent a "I hate Korea and how do I deal with this," to a really great friend. Did I mean it? Yes . . . and no. I haven't heard from him and I think I know why. He knows me too well. Either that or he's really effing busy. Its probably a combination of the two.
Its only been just under two hours since I posted this and I just heard from him. Thanks buddy. I always value your wise observations. You are more right than wrong in just about everything.
But like I said I'm getting better. We have ups and downs. The world is filled with lefts and rights, 'commies' and democracy. Whats better than the other? Who's to say? Can we consult the Dahli Lama for that? Jesus? Lao Tsu? I don't know and frankly if you tell me one thing is "better" than the other I may raise my eyebrow at you and . . . back to that cow thing. I'm still an optimistic. I'm still overly optimistic. But I may question you now more so than ever. I may wonder what your motives are for your rants and raves. I'm not taking shit for granted these days. I figured this out in college but now its being shoved down my throat here in Koreatown.
I'm thinking about joining the modern day 'pirates' off the coast of Somalia. They just hijacked the largest ship in the sea. Yes people, some smart, not so nice 'pirates' out of Somalia, just hijacked a Saudi Arabian super tanker carrying $1 million worth of liquid gold. These 'pirates' have a network. The exfishermen know the sea, the men weilding the guns are ex tribal headmen fighters, the guys with the computers are hackers, know GPS, and I'm imagining have the technilogical knowledge akin to the guys from The Italian Job. They have hostages. They are asking for $2 million in ransome money. According to the BBC, in the past they've been getting their money. They've been so successful that there are now splinter groups of pirates and different pirate clans. The hostages are the best treated in the history of hostage taking. That last statement might be an embelishment but you get the picture. I saw pictures and they look nothing like Johnny Depp. Scary these guys are and if I don't play my cards right they may make me walk the plank; either that or just take me hostage and feed me duck a l'orange.
In the mean time I've slept in and had to take a friggin expensive taxi ride to school. I make it to school in time, no biggie. I saw a traditional Korean dance performance at one of the fanciest performing arts centers I've ever been to ( the Schnitz has more charm though in its old fashion style). The colors of the dance uniforms and traditional Hanbo are more brilliant than I've ever seen before in clothing. The dances are well choreographed and tell stories. One was a young maiden who was to marry a suiter. Once she found out he had a lame leg she refused to marry him. So he married her more amicable step sister. The two were the happiest couple in Korea. The moral of the story . . . be nice. The audience clapped at odd times. I clapped during the not so odd times . . . to me that is.
What am I getting at? Where am I going with this? I dunno. Nations around the world are ensconced with their own way of doing things. During the last two weeks I've recieved a host of suggestions, ways to take care of myself while being sick. Don't drink cold water. Don't shower (the wet hair will lower your immune system). Drink plum juice (good for the throat). Drink bitter strange Korean herbs (which actually help I think, but are freaking nasty). Go to bed with the heat on so I sweat myself to sleep. But here is no different than Guatemala. They had their own set of nutty rules. One of them was drink Chamomile tea (good for the throat). Which I eventually fell in love with and is one of the few teas that I actually enjoy. I'd rather have a fine cuppa joe thanks. In America, we consume massive amounts of vitamin C and can't stop drinking water, hot or COLD. So everyone has their own ways of treating maladies. I'm just glad that no one suggested leaches. I might have to go home if I heard that. People have their own ways of living. People have their own routines. Its not just varied between cultures. Its varied between people. I know this comes as no suprise to you people but I just feel like I have to express this right now. Now. Now is the time. Things are changing. People are being born.
The oldest person in the world just died. He was an Indian man (with the dot not the feather) who died at the ripe old age of 138. Can you imagine? When were you born? This man was born in 1870. Fucking hell. Just to put things into perspective he was born just eight years after Abraham Lincoln wrote the Emancipation Proclamation. He saw the end of the Ottoman Empire. The end of English colonization of India. Henry Ford mainstreamed his Model T in 1912 (I believe released it in 1908). This man was 32. I'm not even 31. Oil wasn't even discovered in the Middle East yet. This man was alive to witness the inventions such as blue jeans, Coca Cola, the telephone, and George Eastman's camera. Now we have the iphone. Spinoffs of blue jeans are selling for $100's of dollars. We just discovered stars orbiting other planets last week. When he was alive the Catholic church was still holding a 500 year old grudge against Galileo becuase he found celestials orbiting Jupiter (on my long to be birthday in St. Mark's square;) and stated that the Earth was not at the center of the universe. Suprise, suprise, suprise! The church finally pardoned him in 2004. And now planets orbiting other planets?! The Creationists are still in denial.
We change. I change. You change. My skin is growing another layer on top of my epidermis. I'm getting tough. I'm fed up with being the nice guy. If you want nice then go somewhere else. I'm done with the lip service. I'm done appeasing to the masses. Don't get me wrong. I'm still Jason. I'm just hardened now. I wanted to be friends with my students in some sort of Michael Scott way from NBC's The Office. Now I demand respect. Or at least yell at the students until I get silence for about thirty seconds. You better listen or else! I know this should have been established from the start. To my defence I didn't know what the hell I was doing. Also to my defence . . . I still don't. Also in my defence I just listened to a teacher last night tell me how the students from my area are especially bad, worse than other areas in Busan because of their socio-economic background. The parents are blue collar workers at best and work around the clock. The students study for hours and hours but aren't pushed like the other students from other areas. Those kids go to another school once they're done with public school. So actually I don't which is worse, kids who are unruly and have lots of energy or kids who are sleeping in class because they go to school for no less than twelve hours a day.
People go to Bali for the beaches and the nice people. People go to Australia for Ayer's Rock, the Coral Reef, kangaroos, and with a slight of luck one will see a panda quietly hiding among the bamboo. People go to Mexico for the beaches, brightly colored robes and rugs, to visit Mayan ruins, to party, and the food - don't forget the food. People go to England to see the birthplace of the Beatles and the Industrial Revolution (maybe just history dorks), Hyde Park, Buckingham Palace, the Tate, and the London Underground. There are reasons why people go to these places. There are reasons Lonely Planet sells more travel books for countries in Europe than Korea. There are reasons why I've only met two or three people that have been to Korea (before arriving here of course). Things are different here. I'm different now because of this difference. I still have yet to figure out if I like Korea or not. But I'm keeping an open mind.
I'm keeping myself entertained. After four years since doing so I'm recording songs again (though very rough but still . . . ). My guitar is crap but to make up for it I'm actally writing lyrics to go with the songs. I'm writing poetry again. I'm reading the news like I was text books in my University days (back when I was a kid . . . ). I'm reading books just a tadd slower. I have ideas for inventions and have been teaching myself physics. I thought I'd never be doing this . . . teaching myself physics. C'mon, who does this? I'm becoming more disciplined than ever before. I'm sick of being just someone. I'm sick of being sick. I want to live. Carpe freaking diem. Einstein dropped out of high school. He taught himself physics. He was denied his first application to become a professor because he dropped out of said high school. He was accepted only after out physicksing (I know its not a word . . . deal with it) other professors. I know the details are hazy. Sorry thats my shitty memory for you. But I'm not making crap up. I'm also not comparing myself to Einstein. Thats ludicrous. I would be losing my mind if I were doing that (SEND RAMBO!!!!!!). Tanto where are you? What's that Lassie? Timmy's caught in a well? Ha! Lost you there for a sec. Nah . . . I'm fine.
Its been way too long since I've posted. Sorry, not to you guys, but out loud to myself. I needed some introspection. What I got was forced, shoved down my throat. For those of you who I have actually had close contact to lately . . . I do apologize. I've been far too negative lately and whiny about being sick. Sick and staring at the walls . . . thinking. Thinking far too much. Checking my email too much, hoping for a 'hi'. I spend far too much time thinking about home, missing poeple. Too much time alone is no good for the noggin. I spend too much time spent in self loathing mode. I need to redirect this misguided energy and focus on something else . . . like that dang invention or a song or a painting or just . . . stop.
I know I said I wouldn't apologize anymore. Sorry about that . . . hehe.
"My coat is black . . . NOT!"
Sacha Baron Cohen you are amazing.
Good night people. I'm going to under sleep again. I need to stop doing this. Luckily I only have two classes tomorrow. Speaking of which . . .
Has anyone ever looked up the history of Thanksgiving? Just to see what actually happened? Apparently some people are confused as to which tribe the Pilgrims actually met that fatefull spring and taught them how to live before they were stabbed in the back. I'm not going into details right now 'cause I need the sleep. But just spend fifteen minutes and look at a few sites. Its funny to see the variance between stories and the way people word their stories as well. There are subconscious reasons for choosing your words. In history and reportive writing there are deeper meanings behind the words we chose to use. Just be careful people, is all I have to say.
Sweet dreams.
Oh and Jared . . . in case I haven't told you Q Tip just came out with a new album, The Renaissance. Its amazing. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This posting is a bit schitzophrenic. But it is about as clear of a painting as I can present to you about my mindstate lately.
Robbin Williams once said,
"Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
I'm a schitzophrenic
and so am I."
Love you all,
Jason
1 comment:
i sending you hugs from portland! you ARE crazy! but that's why i luv ya browntown! it brings back the memories of the time (almost three years ago!) when I was getting to know Jason Brown...we were hiking up to Angels Rest. You stopped dead in your tracks, looked to the dirt at your feet and in shear excitement, said, "oh my gosh look at this leaf!!! this is amazing!!" and you stayed crouched there for a while just examining what others had passed right by. at that point i wanted to laugh and cry and yelp in excitement too...i wanted the wide range of the emotions to spill out of me all at once. I wanted to always feel this way about the world. it was as if YOUR luster for the world was completely contagious. (or maybe you slipped it in my water bottle when i wasn't looking). I like to tell people that story and i do believe, that's the reason i will forever be indebted to you.
Jason, you ARE growing and changing, laughing and screaming, jumping in and rolling around in the very mud of life. This is AMAZING. And while all these things are true...you are still that guy...the stop-in-the-middle-of-the-trail-to-marvel-at-what-other-simply-pass-by sorta guy. and i know that you will continue sharing that with the many people you meet along the way.
:)
Post a Comment