Fly death trap . . .

I mean my apartment.

Some people have issues with cockroaches, lizards, flies, fleas, ants, mosquitos, rats, opossums, or any combination of the above. Cockroaches and rats might have to be the worst. But who's to say? I think it depends on sheer numbers. An ant here and there, eh no worries. A streaming highway of them in and out of the cupboards might be a bit nasty. A cockroach everyonce in a while? Sure the suckers are grosse but herds of them? Eeeewwwww grody. Each nuissance comes with their own problems:

Ants - Stay out of my damn sugar!

Flies - Swarm around and obstruct the view of my breakfast.

Cockroaches - Go crunch when you smash them with your Emeril Lugassie saucepan and then scurry away to bother you another time.

Mosquitos - Covered that one already. But just to be sure - prevent you from sleeping, instilling fear in your tired mind.

Lizards - Drink your beer.

Fleas - Don't even think about wearing sandals until they're gone.

Rats - Scamper around in your heating vents like they've seen the movie Aliens a few too many times.

Opossums - Well I have to say that I've never really had an issue with the ugly likes of these guys. But I'm sure they have been a nuissance to someone . . . somewhere.

So my issues with the mosquitos are thankfully long gone. However on their way out the door they passed the baton to my new roomies, the fruit flies. I made the mistake of throwing food scraps in the garbage for . . . hmm k well I can't lie. I've been throwing food scraps in the garbage since day one here.

A little side note to those who are not here. Trash and food scraps are kept seperate, always. Unless you are a foreigner and resist. The severe lack of space in Korea keeps the recycling, composting, and garbage services at an exceedingly high level of efficiency, even better than Portland (which I thought set a precedent for a lot of cities in the States). Even coffee shops recycle their coffee cups. Meat scraps are not kept seperate from plant scraps in the compost though. It all gets thrown together.

So I have wisened up and now seperate the food from the waste like I should have been doing from the start. Since then I've noticed a significant drop in the fly population . . . after three weeks now. Jesus. I'm serious. So you are thinking, "Jason, c'mon get some bug spray and be done with it." Yes I was thinking the same thing. Its just that Korea doesn't have the same eco and health friendly restrictions on products that the states have. I was worried that spraying down my small studio would not only put the kibosh on the flies' health but my own as well. I've scoured the store shelves looking for cans of Raid with little black silhouettes of flies on them, despite my fears of the toxic chemicals. But I've come up with nothing. Instead I have become a cleaning fanatic even more so that I was before. So now my place is spotless which I've been hoping would help my situation. Some nights, as a form of entertainment I go fly hunting in my kitchen. Sometimes I imagine myself wearing camo purchased from the army surplus store close to my building. Then I quietly shuffle about the kitchen wearing my camo and my WWII issue Russian helmet with my hands poised, ready to clap. Clap! Clap! "Dammit!" This only lasts for a short while, until I get one or two of the little suckers. Then I take off the rediculous attire and return to the book I'm reading.

A couple nights ago my friend Jen came over for a monthly plate of nachos (the ingredients are expensive but I'd go crazy if I didn't get my fix of beans, (fake cheese), and tortilla chips everyonce in a while). She brought the math teacher from her school who is hilarious and speaks amazing English. They couldn't help but comment on my fly fiasco every once in a while. They soon became a topic of conversation. Two days later Jen calls and said the math teacher had a present for me. Can you guess what it was? Hmm . . . well it was fly tape! I was so excited to paste it all over my studio. My kichen now looks like Henri Matisse went psycho and scattered fruit themed band aids willy nilly on my kitchen walls, cupboards, and fridge. Its on now bitches!

"C'mere you want some of this? You too? Yeah c'mon!" - Vasquez

Its been almost a week now and my tape bears no victims. No tumble weed, nothing. For days I eagerly checked the tape when I woke up, got out of the shower, got home from work, when I got back from the gym, and before going to sleep. Still . . . nothing.

The Score

Day one:

Flies:1

Me: 0

Day two

Flies: 1

Me: 0

Day three:

Flies: 10

Me: 0

This day, while making my morning coffee I caught one of my little buddies circling my head. After swatting at it a few times I watched as it approached a strip of tape. It landed right on it! Victory! You're mine now little man! I could swear it knew what was happening and looked me in the eyes as it promptly freed itself from my fauvist fly trap.

"Game over man!" - Hudson

So I don't know what the deal is? Are Korean fruit flies more tenacious and smarter than their distant North American cousins? Does my tape give off a bad aura? Are these hippy flies? Should I make a fly trap that involves a big glass jar with an enclosed speaker playing Grateful Dead tunes? God I hope not. My pseudo hippy days are over and I can only take so much GD at a time. Thankfully there is a silent glass jar version that Brittany recommended. I'm going to try that.

To be honest I never really had problems seeing my breakfast do to a cloud of swarming flies. That would be too nasty, borderline Stephen Kingish. But they were pretty bad for a while. Worse than I've ever dealt with before. But their numbers have slowly been dwindling, no thanks to the damn tape. I know this whole post has been dedicated to flies, wasn't it nice? ;) I'll write about big grandiose trips and cool cultural things in the future. But, that is, unless I develop a lizard problem.

"They mostly come out at night . . . mostly." - Newt

All quotations from the movie Aliens.

Life happens

Things happen and time passes. I get sick. You get sick. The car almost hits the adjacent car in the next lane. The mini scooter is still lying down on the electrical pole outside my building. The kimchi somehow majically got better at school.

I feel better.

One day I'm a fantastic English teacher, the next I'm wondering how its possible that I could call myself an English teacher.

I go to Seoul, you go to La Bonita to get a burrito. One could say one is more exotic and "cooler" than the other. But is it? I'm in the position to argue that point untill the cows come home. I'll wait till the last one stops mooing too. You better be ready, especially after a few more months pass.

Last week I sent a "I hate Korea and how do I deal with this," to a really great friend. Did I mean it? Yes . . . and no. I haven't heard from him and I think I know why. He knows me too well. Either that or he's really effing busy. Its probably a combination of the two.

Its only been just under two hours since I posted this and I just heard from him. Thanks buddy. I always value your wise observations. You are more right than wrong in just about everything.

But like I said I'm getting better. We have ups and downs. The world is filled with lefts and rights, 'commies' and democracy. Whats better than the other? Who's to say? Can we consult the Dahli Lama for that? Jesus? Lao Tsu? I don't know and frankly if you tell me one thing is "better" than the other I may raise my eyebrow at you and . . . back to that cow thing. I'm still an optimistic. I'm still overly optimistic. But I may question you now more so than ever. I may wonder what your motives are for your rants and raves. I'm not taking shit for granted these days. I figured this out in college but now its being shoved down my throat here in Koreatown.

I'm thinking about joining the modern day 'pirates' off the coast of Somalia. They just hijacked the largest ship in the sea. Yes people, some smart, not so nice 'pirates' out of Somalia, just hijacked a Saudi Arabian super tanker carrying $1 million worth of liquid gold. These 'pirates' have a network. The exfishermen know the sea, the men weilding the guns are ex tribal headmen fighters, the guys with the computers are hackers, know GPS, and I'm imagining have the technilogical knowledge akin to the guys from The Italian Job. They have hostages. They are asking for $2 million in ransome money. According to the BBC, in the past they've been getting their money. They've been so successful that there are now splinter groups of pirates and different pirate clans. The hostages are the best treated in the history of hostage taking. That last statement might be an embelishment but you get the picture. I saw pictures and they look nothing like Johnny Depp. Scary these guys are and if I don't play my cards right they may make me walk the plank; either that or just take me hostage and feed me duck a l'orange.

In the mean time I've slept in and had to take a friggin expensive taxi ride to school. I make it to school in time, no biggie. I saw a traditional Korean dance performance at one of the fanciest performing arts centers I've ever been to ( the Schnitz has more charm though in its old fashion style). The colors of the dance uniforms and traditional Hanbo are more brilliant than I've ever seen before in clothing. The dances are well choreographed and tell stories. One was a young maiden who was to marry a suiter. Once she found out he had a lame leg she refused to marry him. So he married her more amicable step sister. The two were the happiest couple in Korea. The moral of the story . . . be nice. The audience clapped at odd times. I clapped during the not so odd times . . . to me that is.

What am I getting at? Where am I going with this? I dunno. Nations around the world are ensconced with their own way of doing things. During the last two weeks I've recieved a host of suggestions, ways to take care of myself while being sick. Don't drink cold water. Don't shower (the wet hair will lower your immune system). Drink plum juice (good for the throat). Drink bitter strange Korean herbs (which actually help I think, but are freaking nasty). Go to bed with the heat on so I sweat myself to sleep. But here is no different than Guatemala. They had their own set of nutty rules. One of them was drink Chamomile tea (good for the throat). Which I eventually fell in love with and is one of the few teas that I actually enjoy. I'd rather have a fine cuppa joe thanks. In America, we consume massive amounts of vitamin C and can't stop drinking water, hot or COLD. So everyone has their own ways of treating maladies. I'm just glad that no one suggested leaches. I might have to go home if I heard that. People have their own ways of living. People have their own routines. Its not just varied between cultures. Its varied between people. I know this comes as no suprise to you people but I just feel like I have to express this right now. Now. Now is the time. Things are changing. People are being born.

The oldest person in the world just died. He was an Indian man (with the dot not the feather) who died at the ripe old age of 138. Can you imagine? When were you born? This man was born in 1870. Fucking hell. Just to put things into perspective he was born just eight years after Abraham Lincoln wrote the Emancipation Proclamation. He saw the end of the Ottoman Empire. The end of English colonization of India. Henry Ford mainstreamed his Model T in 1912 (I believe released it in 1908). This man was 32. I'm not even 31. Oil wasn't even discovered in the Middle East yet. This man was alive to witness the inventions such as blue jeans, Coca Cola, the telephone, and George Eastman's camera. Now we have the iphone. Spinoffs of blue jeans are selling for $100's of dollars. We just discovered stars orbiting other planets last week. When he was alive the Catholic church was still holding a 500 year old grudge against Galileo becuase he found celestials orbiting Jupiter (on my long to be birthday in St. Mark's square;) and stated that the Earth was not at the center of the universe. Suprise, suprise, suprise! The church finally pardoned him in 2004. And now planets orbiting other planets?! The Creationists are still in denial.

We change. I change. You change. My skin is growing another layer on top of my epidermis. I'm getting tough. I'm fed up with being the nice guy. If you want nice then go somewhere else. I'm done with the lip service. I'm done appeasing to the masses. Don't get me wrong. I'm still Jason. I'm just hardened now. I wanted to be friends with my students in some sort of Michael Scott way from NBC's The Office. Now I demand respect. Or at least yell at the students until I get silence for about thirty seconds. You better listen or else! I know this should have been established from the start. To my defence I didn't know what the hell I was doing. Also to my defence . . . I still don't. Also in my defence I just listened to a teacher last night tell me how the students from my area are especially bad, worse than other areas in Busan because of their socio-economic background. The parents are blue collar workers at best and work around the clock. The students study for hours and hours but aren't pushed like the other students from other areas. Those kids go to another school once they're done with public school. So actually I don't which is worse, kids who are unruly and have lots of energy or kids who are sleeping in class because they go to school for no less than twelve hours a day.

People go to Bali for the beaches and the nice people. People go to Australia for Ayer's Rock, the Coral Reef, kangaroos, and with a slight of luck one will see a panda quietly hiding among the bamboo. People go to Mexico for the beaches, brightly colored robes and rugs, to visit Mayan ruins, to party, and the food - don't forget the food. People go to England to see the birthplace of the Beatles and the Industrial Revolution (maybe just history dorks), Hyde Park, Buckingham Palace, the Tate, and the London Underground. There are reasons why people go to these places. There are reasons Lonely Planet sells more travel books for countries in Europe than Korea. There are reasons why I've only met two or three people that have been to Korea (before arriving here of course). Things are different here. I'm different now because of this difference. I still have yet to figure out if I like Korea or not. But I'm keeping an open mind.

I'm keeping myself entertained. After four years since doing so I'm recording songs again (though very rough but still . . . ). My guitar is crap but to make up for it I'm actally writing lyrics to go with the songs. I'm writing poetry again. I'm reading the news like I was text books in my University days (back when I was a kid . . . ). I'm reading books just a tadd slower. I have ideas for inventions and have been teaching myself physics. I thought I'd never be doing this . . . teaching myself physics. C'mon, who does this? I'm becoming more disciplined than ever before. I'm sick of being just someone. I'm sick of being sick. I want to live. Carpe freaking diem. Einstein dropped out of high school. He taught himself physics. He was denied his first application to become a professor because he dropped out of said high school. He was accepted only after out physicksing (I know its not a word . . . deal with it) other professors. I know the details are hazy. Sorry thats my shitty memory for you. But I'm not making crap up. I'm also not comparing myself to Einstein. Thats ludicrous. I would be losing my mind if I were doing that (SEND RAMBO!!!!!!). Tanto where are you? What's that Lassie? Timmy's caught in a well? Ha! Lost you there for a sec. Nah . . . I'm fine.

Its been way too long since I've posted. Sorry, not to you guys, but out loud to myself. I needed some introspection. What I got was forced, shoved down my throat. For those of you who I have actually had close contact to lately . . . I do apologize. I've been far too negative lately and whiny about being sick. Sick and staring at the walls . . . thinking. Thinking far too much. Checking my email too much, hoping for a 'hi'. I spend far too much time thinking about home, missing poeple. Too much time alone is no good for the noggin. I spend too much time spent in self loathing mode. I need to redirect this misguided energy and focus on something else . . . like that dang invention or a song or a painting or just . . . stop.

I know I said I wouldn't apologize anymore. Sorry about that . . . hehe.

"My coat is black . . . NOT!"

Sacha Baron Cohen you are amazing.

Good night people. I'm going to under sleep again. I need to stop doing this. Luckily I only have two classes tomorrow. Speaking of which . . .

Has anyone ever looked up the history of Thanksgiving? Just to see what actually happened? Apparently some people are confused as to which tribe the Pilgrims actually met that fatefull spring and taught them how to live before they were stabbed in the back. I'm not going into details right now 'cause I need the sleep. But just spend fifteen minutes and look at a few sites. Its funny to see the variance between stories and the way people word their stories as well. There are subconscious reasons for choosing your words. In history and reportive writing there are deeper meanings behind the words we chose to use. Just be careful people, is all I have to say.

Sweet dreams.

Oh and Jared . . . in case I haven't told you Q Tip just came out with a new album, The Renaissance. Its amazing. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This posting is a bit schitzophrenic. But it is about as clear of a painting as I can present to you about my mindstate lately.

Robbin Williams once said,

"Roses are red.

Violets are blue.

I'm a schitzophrenic

and so am I."

Love you all,

Jason

Obamanos

First of all . . . thank goodness, thank Obama, thank you America for looking the problem in the eye and doing something about it.  I feel a bit hipacticritical saying this because I was a dummy and didn't get my absentee ballot in time.  Anyways . . . I'm glad.  I know he's not going to 'change' things drastically, immediately, and I'm not sure how much change will actually happen.  I mean this with the upmost optimism but I'm just trying to be realistic.  He does not walk on water but his presidency is sure to bring America out of the tailspin its been traveling on for the last 8 years.  

The BBC online coverage was far superior to the NyTimes sadly enough.  So I got to see the events through the eyes of the Britons.  Man they didn't hide the fact that they were all for Obama at all.  It was very interesting and comedic at times.  Some reporters were at McCain rallies talking to folks.  One specific interview went something like this:

Reporter: How do you feel about the prospected results?

Farmer:  Well its sad to see and I'm quite scared of what might happen.

R: How do you feel about the state of the economy now, America is borrowing money from China and other countries to stay afloat, and facing increasing unemployment rate.  Aren't you worried about the condition of America and your job?  Do you feel at all it might be a time for some change?

F: No.

Wow very biased indeed.  Some of the analysts they interviewed were great as well.  Some of them were even comparing him to Kennedy.  No holding back in British tv.  I would have hated watching it though if I batted for the other team.  Ok so that last statement about 'batting for the other team.'  I hope Obama is right.  I hope he can bring this country together.  I feel this damn place has been run by a bunch of uber right wing nutties for too long.  I have nothing against republicans, nothing at all.  They have different views on things just as much as the next guy, or my current Korean bretheren.  I just want to say this that I'm not a fan of uber left wing politics either.  Living in Eugene for those 4 years and taking an environmental science class at PCC Cascade definately opened up my eyes to some off the wall lefty theories.  I just want to be proud of my country again.  I'm sick and tired of feeling like I should have bought a Canadian flag every time I leave the country.  I refuse to 'cause I am proud to be an American.  I do like the 'American Dream'.  Being in other countries where the very essence of that dream could be nothing more than that . . . a dream.  It is possible to get ahead.  It is possible pick yourself up from the bootsrtaps, work hard, and attain prosperity.  Its not going to be easy.  If you want easy enter in a basketball game with a bunch of Korean middle school kids.  Barack HUSSIEN Obama congradulations for being the first African American president.  

For a second I got a little teary eyed watching his speech.  But it could have been the great package of love I recieved from Vieve today as well.  Talk about goodies.   Coffee, peanuts, peanut M&M's, magazines, cards, don't forget the love, and much more.  Thanks Vieve I just wanted to give you a public shout out.  Woot woot!

On a much different note:

Imagine a scene out of any mad scientist movie . . . I'm thinking of Young Frankenstein.  Gene Wilder running about the lab with his crazy eyes, frazzled hair, and test tubes of god knows what bubbling.  The scene is dark, dreary, and filled with mist or smoke or what ever that is . . . Ok so those test tubes with the bubbling . . . now imagine those are inside your stomach.  You can feel large 'bubbles' moving this way and that in your tummy.  OOhh my stomach shouldn't feel like this but it does.  The bell rings and now I have to teach.  Oh man I have no idea what I ate but this business has got to end.  I've been illin for three days now.  Here is a bit of comedy that likes to shine on my life in all ways that are embarrasing yet kinda funny, in hind sight.  So I share them with the masses:

I swallow my pride and tell one of the co-teachers that I'm not feeling well towards the end of the day yesterday.  

She says to me, "Whats wrong?"  

"Um I'm kind of embarrassed to say really."

"Are you suffering from diarrhea?"

"Yeah, kinda."

"Oh would you like some medicine?"

"Oh we have some at the school?"

"Yes, let me get you some."

"Okay, yeah that'd be great."

I go to my office to do a few things and then head to the main teachers' office.  To my suprise I see two school girls giving a set of pills to Ms.  Yoon, my helpful teacher.  

"Oh Jason, here are the pills.  Please give those to Jason."  

I couldn't believe she sent students to get diarrhea medicine for me.  The girls give them to me wearing Mona Lisa's smile.  They were surely holding back laughter.  ''Thank you." I say to the girls.  They quickly ran away and began giggling before they left the office.  

"Thank you." I said to Mrs. Yoon.  By now she too had a smile on her face.  Yes thank you for making me feel all the better for revealing this embarrasing situation to you.  Next time I'm keeping it to myself.  Its just a matter of time before my students will  extend their sentences with the following:

"Oh teacher, bery handsome diarrhea man."  Can't wait.  At least they're learning something.

Today I went to school only to teach one class and then get a costly taxi home.  I've spent the day watching election coverage and Lost In Translation.  This movie BTW has taken on a whole new level of meaning for me.  Its based in Tokyo but I swear it looks just like Korea.  During some of the street shots I kept waiting to see something I recognized . . . "oooh, oooh, that's my favorite bookstore!"  But the emotion of feeling like you have no idea whats going on in a place where so much is happening is captured in this movie to the "T".  For those of you who haven't seen it before DO IT!  There is this beautiful scene where Scarlet Johanson takes a train to Kyoto and stumbles upon a traditional Japanese wedding in progress.  There is no talking the whole sequence, just the music from one of my favorite bands, "Air."  The title of that track is aptly named, "Alone, in Kyoto."    

Nighty night folks.   

Oh and I learned that only 28% (BBC coverage) of US adults have college degrees.  HOLY MOLY!  I thought there were way more.  Education is a good thing.  Too bad so few of us actually get one.